figs smell like safety to me...
Monday, January 25, 2010 at 03:18PM 1449 Leland Avenue
the shade is slightly tucked into itself
on the other side of the white gated window
my abandoned bedroom with graffitied electric blue walls,
lies empty still...no one lives there
Not since I left 15 years ago
My safe haven, like a security blanket
Where I spent the first 18 years of my life
Visible but inaccessible,
i go back every so often and look
Just the window...
wish i could go in...
like a child tonguing the hole in their gums
where their milk tooth was once anchored
but, betty, mr. lee’s daughter wont let me in
when the window was open
when it rained
when the breeze blew
tendrils of dewy air
crisp fuzzy milky bright green leaves
released their perfume and comforted me
the space infused with the scent of figs
meant just for one lonely little girl...
only i knew it’s magic
soothing gentle and so special
that the fig tree breathed only into my room
i reminisce on the stoop,
the only access i have to my old home
in many ways an extension of my comfort zone
i played there
laughed there
became myself there on the
two steps and short brick wall
sitting comfortably with my back against the two story red structure,
elbows on knees a book in hand
i remember who i was
she is still me, i am still she at my core
the girl who read books
the girl who wrote books to escape
the space between the stoop and her room
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