Bomba y Plena - Final Words

written simultaneously:

when what was, is no longer - bomba

i am afraid to write these words because i fear that yours may not be about me

but to write about anything else would be dishonest

dizzy with pain & anger i blurt “i cant do this anymore” 

ask you to leave me alone so that i can gather the parts of me that are strewn about 

and now

the most interesting thing has happened, 

i’ve learned to think about two things simultaneously

i now have to ability to talk about one thing while thinking another

there isnt a single solitary moment that goes by when i am not consumed by you

i now live on two planes

the one in which we laugh, make love and talk about our future

the one in which we marvel at how two people could be so in love

and the one that i’m actually living

the one in my head feels more real, so i take breaks throughout the day

i close my eyes and live there - try to make it last longer

because my shirts still smell like you

because i still feel your breath in my hair

because i thought you were the miracle i had been waiting for

bitter 

broken

pained

exhausted

ashamed of how desperately i love you

soaked like the handkerchief i used in an effort to wipe away

the fact that we are a memory

i’ve folded each tear & keep them under my pillow

Copyright © 2010 by Jani (Bomba Rose) Rosado 

When Kisses Become Yesterday - Plena

I shout tight closed fists at tender skin,

I smack pink cheeks with insult until I achieve desired bruising,

taste this curse on the edge of my lips,

It is yours to swallow.

I damn the day I realized  I am my fathers son,

a product of the void that is no mothers warmth.

How do I thank you for loving me while talons carve your name on my back?

By craving this fuel which burns my lungs and boils my blood, this will soon be a slaughter,

this forgiveness in the 1st degree arrives in the form of stanzas,

I wish this poem, a swift swing of dagger, meets your hearts flesh, you are no more,

fatality.

I can rest.

Copyright © 2010 by Roberto Plena Irizarry  

Comments

[Imani_Sublime]

Deep and final. I hope this is cathartic for you and you can finally be at peace. I know you're hurting and angry but leave the dead where it lays...don't hurt yourself more. I worry too much, I suppose. I'm sorry you're hurting, dear. Here if u need me.

[TainoImage]

Personal experience has very painfully taught me that it's sometimes prudent to look back and reassess our actions before the road of return is forever covered. I once, regretfully to this day, walked away. Never really shared this with anyone. This is why I once told my oldest son, when he was having some drama with his girlfriend, "very few people in your lifetime will love you like she does. You need to ask yourself if you really want to sacrifice that." Again from personal experience, the magic is far in between and time is an irreplaceable commodity.