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Shining Starr
I can see the twinkle in your green eyes
The heir to your mother's golden-brown hair
and your father's temper
Boricua blood
Half New York City
Half Coqui
You smell like Ponce breeze
and laugh like music en el Barrio
Your tiny hand can hardly grip my finger
But you're big enough for my heart to live in you
I can imagine the day when you ask,
"Papi, you love me?"
And I reply, "My baby, my love,
Papi loves you more than he can ever express
More than you will ever know"
I will protect you from the cuco in your closet
and the monstruo under your bed
I will be your Charlie Brown,
Elmo,
Backyardigan,
Big Bird
Your wikipedia
And your Google
Each night finds me holding you 5 minutes longer
against your mother's protests.
"You're spoiling her, Rob"
"You mean the way I spoil you?"
Your first words will sound like heaven
Your first steps will shake my foundation
Daddy's little girl will be Daddy's entire world
When you're older, mijita, I will keep you safe from the bad boys
and be tough on the good ones
I'll complain about each puppy love,
strangle each heartbreak
and beat the shit out of your first.
That's what Dad's are supposed to do, right?
Your grandmother will shout, "Ahora vas a pagar todo lo que hicistes conmigo."
My guitar, keyboard and drum playing princess
Salsa bomba plena barefoot dancing jibarita
Hip hop soul house hoop earring urban babydoll
Kisses before you sleep
Raspberries when you wake
I'll watch you splash in the tub
Help you make a mess
Play with Mami's makeup
2 feet tall tippy toe to the mirror
Lipstick smeared, pearl necklaces, a ring on each finger
Don't worry, I won't tell
Your brothers will teach you well
Jimmy to handle the art
ChuChu will cover the Beatles
Judah on the rules of the house
BenBen on how to break them
We will be a family of music
A family of laughter
A family that will not always eat together
but will always LIVE LIFE together
The youngest,
La mas chiquita,
La bebe
The center of attention
The one we will all guide
Educate
Comfort
Love
And empower
A strong and proud Boricua you will be
Although you're not here yet
I can smell your hair
Feel your babysmooth skin
And on that day
When we hear your petite cry
as you come from your mother's womb
Starr Iraida Irizarry-Perez
We will celebrate your birthday
And the day that I'm finally and utterly complete
Copyright © 2010 by Roberto Irizarry
Saturday, February 20, 2010 at 4:38am
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how light and pure my heart is
i have always protected it
now i'll try something new
it's gifted to you to protect
freely
openly
completely
Copyright © 2010 by Jani Rosado
artwork by despotasula @deviantart.com
]]>buttery warm naan bread
nag champa kisses
revelations of mysteries
smiles glowing in the flickering light of someone else's television
poetizing by candle light until eyes roll back
beatles beaten skin
sighs and proclamations from 12-3am, tears at 4:30
II.
laughter on the F train
the D our first ride
the 4 our path to sanctuary
the 6 where we parted over and over again
new york city underground transports love stories
like veins pumping the lifeblood of our city
III.
you say i fill you with my love...
so full that you can hold no more
such that it pours back out from your mouth
an endless cascade of honey for me to drink in
Copyright © 2010 by Jani Rosado
]]>Juego de corazones
Atrapados en un bosque de caricias
No me pesa amarte
Isla de mi encanto, eres tu
Busco la manera de nunca
Olvidar ningunos de nuestros besos
Mi candela, mi
Bella, mi dentro, mi
Afuera, paso el tiempo
Recordandote en los colores del cielo
Olvido todo dolor cuando bailo tu
Salsa, me
Emborracho con tu musica
Copyright © 2010 by Roberto 'Plena' Irizarry
in the hot lamp light of the scrutiny from those
who nestled their chests up against my back
to feed off of the warmth
that they thought was my life
you dont know me
stranger who lied in the face of my certainty
who balked in the face of my bald open faced adoration
angered by the revelation, a lack of perfection i never claimed
disappointed by my humanity you discarded me
while i forgave you for being real
but i looked inside...past the refuse into the core
and saw lovely, fragile, broken...
i feel so small
after having given smiles sutured from the wooly sinews
that held my miserable heart together
rose up out of the mouths of the moths floating around in my belly
shaken with fear of not being good enough
for you
my arms, bags of blood,
wrapped around you pumping i love yous
because i know they heal
and you really really need it
and genuine emotion poured into little plastic cups
doled out dutifully to those who know that they don’t really
give two fucks or shits
and i gave 3 or 4
like vitamins for your sallow soul,
for a little bit, for a little while, just a little hit
but they don’t matter now
swallowed and gone
flushed like yesterday's digested morsels
you'd rather be rid of me now that i no longer serve
the purpose that i was intended to
bitter i can be biting into the apples handed to me
worm bitten moldy full of animosity
you ask me to share it with others
i am done - making excuses
trying to dig my way out from under the ugly truth
that
you dont
see me
didnt really
know me
no matter how much you think you understood
you saw only what your selfish mask allowed
as you walk through life with that filter cutting off the corners of your vision
please try to comprehend
remember...
i was genuine
and now that the love is gone and your
friendship is no more an than an illusion
sitting here remembering makes me feel so small
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full of confused miscommunication
feeling like garbled rocks and marbles
in my mouth throat and ears
feeling like trying to drag a cardboard box
full of old familiar books, even adored ones,
dragging them words through the snow
in a cardboard box with a rope tied around it,
even though it would be easier to leave them there on the curb
it wouldn't be better, just easier.
so we pull
there's this awful oppressive feeling
like a wet blanket smothering flames hovering
between the lines
and i just want to say sweet things,
whisper i love yous and tell you that
your smile is the glowing crescent
rising over the horizon promising a golden day...
but you're not smiling right now
nope. at this point in the junction, i can't
because right now when i say "hello"
you say, "what?"
and when i say "goodbye"
there is silence
and i say, "hello?"
and you say "huh?"
and i say "goodbye"
and you say, "what?"
and now i'm just dizzy...
it's actually easier to stay on the line...
today was a heavy laden day...
until i saw you
handed you a bottle of white
listened to the tellings of your day
about work and self-control at level 10,
you did good inspite of corporate hand
around your throat...
as you spoke, the fact warmed into me...
i had known deep down that i was your refuge
that the crappy ass day of question marks
had nothing to do with me
that it was over and
i was part of the solution
so, why tangle myself into it
why fight?
i'd rather hand you a glass of wine
and let this day melt away
give you a hug, rub your hair
and wait for that smile
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